I am currently in Cebu and I am currently celibate. I'm kinda busy with my classes, which is why I haven't had the chance to finish my last entry -- even though I started writing it over 2 weeks ago. I will finish writing it within the next week.
Cebu is nice. Not much has changed since the last time I was here. It's still pretty quiet, PeopleSupport Cebu looks the same, and I still can't seem to get laid with any of the locals. Not that I am actively looking for someone here. Half of me wants to give the slutty lifestyle a rest, and the other half misses getting fucked. My gums are still bleeding a bit, so I'm still kinda scared of catching something. Dex said that it'll probably be safe as long as I don't let guys cum in my mouth, but I'm terrible at telling whether a guy's going to cum or not. Maybe I should just stick to buttfucking. We'll see. In any case I guess I'm OK with not having sex here in Cebu and just waiting until I get back to Manila, cuz I still don't feel sex-deprived. But then again it'll be 2 weeks until I get back to Manila, and my body's beginning to feel restless again. Maybe I should have sex with a virgin, if I can find one. In fact, there's this one guy here from Cebu who I had text-sex with, and he said that he's never done it with a guy before. He also said that he was 22, so I kinda don't believe that he hasn't done it before. Oh well. Whatever. Along as he's cute.
Me and Dex went to Navigator, a gay strip club, last Saturday. We didn't know that it would be a strip club because we though that it would just be a night club where they place house/techno/electronica like Bed. But anyway. It took us a while to find the place, because we got the lousiest directions from the people who had been there before. The taxi drivers had no idea how to find the place either. When we finally found the bar, it was funny because the signboard read "Navigator: gay bar". It was the first time I saw a place actually announcing that it was a gay bar. As with all things in Cebu, it wasn't an expensive place, and the guys weren't exactly top-notch quality -- nothing like the gay bars in Manila. Some of the strippers had beer bellies, for Christ's sake. Mostly they were cute though, and one guy I really liked a lot cuz he had the kind of body you'd want pumping inside you at 150 km/hr -- damned huge and hard. Hehe. I even remember his name -- Dreamboy Kenneth Manzano.
The strippers really didn't strip naked though, and it seemed like most of them were just modelling. We were pretty much disappointed. One guy was bizaare though, because he wrapped his hardon with tissue and lit the end of the tissue with a lighter. Just as the flame was about to reach his cock, he pulled the tissue off and threw it to the audience. There was another number where their host -- whom they called their Singing "Sweat-heart" (that's how they pronounced it) -- was singing some cheesy love song while one of the strippers pretended to fuck her on stage. It was hilarious because he kept on pumping her to the point where she almost fell off the stage, and she was laughing so hard she couldn't sing anymore. In short, the place was more like a comedy bar than a gay bar.
We left the place at around 2am, and outside there was this guy who called a cab for us. We thought he was just one of the club's attendants, so when he started talking to us in Cebuano after we got into the cab we thought he just wanted a tip. We gave him like 10 pesos (Dex and I were feeling really stingy last weekend). But then in Filipino, and with a really cute smile, he asked us if he could go with us. His name was Dave, and he was really cute. Dex and I didn't say anything, but we couldn't stop smiling. We were hesitant to say yes, because we kinda figured that Dave was a prostitute. I think we ended up saying that he couldn't come with us, because the guy said OK but take my number down so you can call me anytime. Dex took the number down, and I copied it after. Haha. Oh well. But I don't think we'll see Dave again, or I least I won't. While I'm in my 20's, I don't want to have to pay for sex. Not even in my early 30's I guess. There are just too many horny men in the world for me to have to pay for sex.
So that's it for last weekend. We're planning to go to the beach next weekend. I hope it pushes through, because I would feel so bad if I didn't get to go to at least one beach while I'm here. I hope Rolly flies over here too like we've been planning. He will be leaving for Japan sometime early next year, and considering that I will be back here in Cebu for another 3 weeks or so in December, it doesn't leave us much time to be with each other. I no longer hope that we'll get back together again as a couple, but all the same I like having him around, and I know that he feels the same way about me too. One day when I have the time I will write our story here in this blog.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Undressed
I'm in the office at the moment. I haven't had much sleep for the past few days and I'm not really sure why. Because I'm so sleep-deprived, I've had a few embarrassing moments in class. There was this one time where I swear I was discussing something, and for a split second I fell sleep while I was standing. I woke up because I heard myself saying that there was a fish on our corporate website, and I actually had a trainee who looked for the fish. Oh well.
I met Mark yesterday afternoon. He asked me to print out some pictures for his scrap book, and I had already printed them so I was going to give them to him. Although I had planned to give him the pictures just before I went to work in the evening, I ended up going to his office late in the afternoon because I idiotically left my keys at home and couldn't get into my house. Rather than loiter around in the fucking heat outside our gate, I decided to meet Mark. When I finally saw him, I realized that although it had been almost a month since I first met him, yesterday was the first time I ever saw Mark wear more than just underwear. You see, whenever I'd go over to his place to have sex, he'd always be ready to go. Strange.
The first time I had sex with Mark was around 3 weeks ago, the same day I met and had sex with RJ. Sex with RJ wasn't all that great, because he wasn't that good, and I swear to God his cum was so fucking bitter and sour that I almost vomitted. None of my other men ever had cum that tasted that bad. And RJ was being a total retarded asshole about it too cuz he wouldn't let me wash my mouth, saying I deserved the taste because I let him cum in my mouth. So anyway, since sex with RJ wasn't all that great, and since I wanted to forget his bitter and sour-tasting cum as soon as I possibly could, as soon as I arrived home I went online and looked for another sex-eb. I felt a bit guilty because for some reason RJ was also online at that time, so he saw me looking for someone else to fuck. But anyway, I didn't care, cuz I still thought he was an asshole.
That's when I found Mark, who said he had a place in Magallanes. He didn't send me his pic, and although I don't usually meet people if they don't give their pic first, I was so desperate to forget about RJ that I met Mark anyway. When I first saw Mark he didn't exactly seem like my type. He was around my height, really thin, and dark. I like my men to be a bit taller and chunkier. When he took me to his room he brought me to what looked like the maid quarters, so I thought shit I'm having sex with the help, although he really wasn't just the help. As I was sitting on his bed I seriously thought about telling him hey, sorry you're not really my type, but thanks anyway. But then he dropped his pants and my God, for someone with his body frame, he had a really huge cock. It felt weird to have this big cock inside you while you had your arms around a small body, but I didn't mind it much. Plus he seemed to fit inside me perfectly, so we got along fine.
We've had sex a few times since. What I like about Mark is that he's always been very nice to me. On the first day we met he put my clothes on a hanger before we fucked, and that was a sweet gesture considering that none of my other men have done that for me. He also showed me the scrap books he made of his travels (he's been all over the place -- literally and metaphorically). One time I even helped him finish one of the pages for his newest scrapbook. That I liked because I rarely get to see the non-sexual side of the men I meet. On the other hand, what I don't like is how after a month of knowing him he still doesn't want me to know what his real name is. I'm also not entirely enthusiastic about how obsessed over threesomes he is.
I've had other men ask me to do weird things -- like piss on them, shave my pubic hair, etc. -- but I didn't give in to any of their fetishes. I probably never will give in to festishes like those either, unless the fetish was something I had also been fantasizing over. Which is why I agreed to be in a threesome with Mark. I've always been fascinated by the idea of having two men going at me at the same time -- one in my mouth, the other up my behind -- but I never really had a realistic chance to be in a threesome until I met Mark. At first I thought the reason why he wanted to be in a threesome was because he wanted two guys working on him at the same time, but apparently what he really wanted was to watch other people have sex. In short, he's a voyeur. I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of being in a threesome at first, but I guess knowing that I would more or less be safe with Mark, and that we would do it at his place, kinda eased me into the idea.
Mark finally found someone who was willing to be in a threesome with us last week. I wasn't completely in the mood to do it because Mark woke me up at like 2 in the morning right in the middle of my sleep, but I decided what the hell. I might as well do it now to get the whole threesome-virginity thing over and done with. Plus Mark said that the guy was cute, so I wanted to see if the guy really was cute. When I got Mark's place, the guy wasn't cute at all. Not only that, but he was a complete big-headed faggot -- and I'm not talking big-headed down there. Half of the time he was pretending not to be in the mood and he kept going on and on about how he probably wouldn't get an erection. That totally turned and pissed me off. But Mark had waited for so long to see someone else fuck me that he was adamant that me and this guy have sex.
Although I didn't like JM (the asshole Mark and I had a threesome with), I decided what the hell I'll have sex with him anyway. I knew that was what Mark really wanted, and Mark had always been nice to me, so whatever. So Mark switched off the lights, JM (being the hypocrite that he was) pretended to protest for a bit, and shut up once I had my mouth on him. The rest isn't exciting enough to write about, but one point I did have my threesome fantasy fulfilled -- Mark was up my mouth, while JM was up my ass. We even did the whole porno fuck-train thing where JM was fucking my ass while Mark was fucking his. But that was about it. We all got bored of each other and ended up jacking off separately.
You'd think he'd shut up after our feeble attempt at a threesome, but JM just couldn't stop. He went on and on about how his family owned a commercial building in Ortigas, and how we wouldn't be able to contact him for 3 weeks because he'd be in Europe. As if we'd want to call him again. I thought Mark liked him, but apparently he thought JM was an asshole too.
Oh well. The threesome fantasy didn't quite work out. But that's OK. I hope it'll work out better next time. If I could just get Gio and Mark in the same room together...
I met Mark yesterday afternoon. He asked me to print out some pictures for his scrap book, and I had already printed them so I was going to give them to him. Although I had planned to give him the pictures just before I went to work in the evening, I ended up going to his office late in the afternoon because I idiotically left my keys at home and couldn't get into my house. Rather than loiter around in the fucking heat outside our gate, I decided to meet Mark. When I finally saw him, I realized that although it had been almost a month since I first met him, yesterday was the first time I ever saw Mark wear more than just underwear. You see, whenever I'd go over to his place to have sex, he'd always be ready to go. Strange.
The first time I had sex with Mark was around 3 weeks ago, the same day I met and had sex with RJ. Sex with RJ wasn't all that great, because he wasn't that good, and I swear to God his cum was so fucking bitter and sour that I almost vomitted. None of my other men ever had cum that tasted that bad. And RJ was being a total retarded asshole about it too cuz he wouldn't let me wash my mouth, saying I deserved the taste because I let him cum in my mouth. So anyway, since sex with RJ wasn't all that great, and since I wanted to forget his bitter and sour-tasting cum as soon as I possibly could, as soon as I arrived home I went online and looked for another sex-eb. I felt a bit guilty because for some reason RJ was also online at that time, so he saw me looking for someone else to fuck. But anyway, I didn't care, cuz I still thought he was an asshole.
That's when I found Mark, who said he had a place in Magallanes. He didn't send me his pic, and although I don't usually meet people if they don't give their pic first, I was so desperate to forget about RJ that I met Mark anyway. When I first saw Mark he didn't exactly seem like my type. He was around my height, really thin, and dark. I like my men to be a bit taller and chunkier. When he took me to his room he brought me to what looked like the maid quarters, so I thought shit I'm having sex with the help, although he really wasn't just the help. As I was sitting on his bed I seriously thought about telling him hey, sorry you're not really my type, but thanks anyway. But then he dropped his pants and my God, for someone with his body frame, he had a really huge cock. It felt weird to have this big cock inside you while you had your arms around a small body, but I didn't mind it much. Plus he seemed to fit inside me perfectly, so we got along fine.
We've had sex a few times since. What I like about Mark is that he's always been very nice to me. On the first day we met he put my clothes on a hanger before we fucked, and that was a sweet gesture considering that none of my other men have done that for me. He also showed me the scrap books he made of his travels (he's been all over the place -- literally and metaphorically). One time I even helped him finish one of the pages for his newest scrapbook. That I liked because I rarely get to see the non-sexual side of the men I meet. On the other hand, what I don't like is how after a month of knowing him he still doesn't want me to know what his real name is. I'm also not entirely enthusiastic about how obsessed over threesomes he is.
I've had other men ask me to do weird things -- like piss on them, shave my pubic hair, etc. -- but I didn't give in to any of their fetishes. I probably never will give in to festishes like those either, unless the fetish was something I had also been fantasizing over. Which is why I agreed to be in a threesome with Mark. I've always been fascinated by the idea of having two men going at me at the same time -- one in my mouth, the other up my behind -- but I never really had a realistic chance to be in a threesome until I met Mark. At first I thought the reason why he wanted to be in a threesome was because he wanted two guys working on him at the same time, but apparently what he really wanted was to watch other people have sex. In short, he's a voyeur. I wasn't too comfortable with the idea of being in a threesome at first, but I guess knowing that I would more or less be safe with Mark, and that we would do it at his place, kinda eased me into the idea.
Mark finally found someone who was willing to be in a threesome with us last week. I wasn't completely in the mood to do it because Mark woke me up at like 2 in the morning right in the middle of my sleep, but I decided what the hell. I might as well do it now to get the whole threesome-virginity thing over and done with. Plus Mark said that the guy was cute, so I wanted to see if the guy really was cute. When I got Mark's place, the guy wasn't cute at all. Not only that, but he was a complete big-headed faggot -- and I'm not talking big-headed down there. Half of the time he was pretending not to be in the mood and he kept going on and on about how he probably wouldn't get an erection. That totally turned and pissed me off. But Mark had waited for so long to see someone else fuck me that he was adamant that me and this guy have sex.
Although I didn't like JM (the asshole Mark and I had a threesome with), I decided what the hell I'll have sex with him anyway. I knew that was what Mark really wanted, and Mark had always been nice to me, so whatever. So Mark switched off the lights, JM (being the hypocrite that he was) pretended to protest for a bit, and shut up once I had my mouth on him. The rest isn't exciting enough to write about, but one point I did have my threesome fantasy fulfilled -- Mark was up my mouth, while JM was up my ass. We even did the whole porno fuck-train thing where JM was fucking my ass while Mark was fucking his. But that was about it. We all got bored of each other and ended up jacking off separately.
You'd think he'd shut up after our feeble attempt at a threesome, but JM just couldn't stop. He went on and on about how his family owned a commercial building in Ortigas, and how we wouldn't be able to contact him for 3 weeks because he'd be in Europe. As if we'd want to call him again. I thought Mark liked him, but apparently he thought JM was an asshole too.
Oh well. The threesome fantasy didn't quite work out. But that's OK. I hope it'll work out better next time. If I could just get Gio and Mark in the same room together...
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Dirty Mouth
If there's such a thing as a sexual hypochondriac, I am that person. These days, if there's anything wrong with my body or if I'm not feeling well, I'm prone to think it's because I've caught something from one of my sex partners. So when my gums started bleeding around a week ago, I panicked a bit. It's not like they were bleeding constantly, but whenever I brushed my teeth, blood would be in the spit. I was a bit nervous because I vaguely remembered that there was an STD that caused your mouth to bleed, and also because I knew that you're more prone to catching STDs if your mouth is bleeding or if the lining of your mouth is thin. So I knew I needed to get myself checked really soon.
I was in Lucena over the weekend because it was Lisa's birthday. The party was OK, even though we were practically the only people there. They invited all the guests at the last minute, so no one was available except for a few neighbours. But anyway, while we were shopping for stuff for Lisa and her party, I went to one of the dentists at the mall. My Mom was having a fit because the attendant at the clinic got our appointment mixed up, and we ended up having to wait over an hour before I finally got to see a dentist. It was worth the wait though. The dentist, Dr. Joy, was very customer service-oriented -- complete with apology statements, empathy, in-depth explanations and upsell attempts. She explained that the reason my gums were bleeding was because a tartar build-up on one of my teeth had caused GINGIVITIS (shit, how embarrassing), but it was OK because the condition was completely reversible. It was just one tooth anyway, but gross all the same. Then she went about cleaning my teeth. Part of the prophylaxis was surreal because she had me hold up a mirror to my mouth so I could see her lift the gum off of my tooth while she scraped the plaque off the enamel -- all this while I was bleeding profusely. The weirdest part was that none of this hurt, no matter how badly it looked like she was torturing me.
At the end of all this she contorted my mouth into several positions while she took pictures of my teeth. Apparently all her patients had pictures of their mouths for their files so she could show them how much or how little their teeth had improved over time. She ended by giving a strict dental regimen to follow, complete with expensive medication and tongue scrapers. I think it was all worth my money though. At least I know that I don't have an STD. Unless giving too many blowjobs can cause gingivitis.
I was in Lucena over the weekend because it was Lisa's birthday. The party was OK, even though we were practically the only people there. They invited all the guests at the last minute, so no one was available except for a few neighbours. But anyway, while we were shopping for stuff for Lisa and her party, I went to one of the dentists at the mall. My Mom was having a fit because the attendant at the clinic got our appointment mixed up, and we ended up having to wait over an hour before I finally got to see a dentist. It was worth the wait though. The dentist, Dr. Joy, was very customer service-oriented -- complete with apology statements, empathy, in-depth explanations and upsell attempts. She explained that the reason my gums were bleeding was because a tartar build-up on one of my teeth had caused GINGIVITIS (shit, how embarrassing), but it was OK because the condition was completely reversible. It was just one tooth anyway, but gross all the same. Then she went about cleaning my teeth. Part of the prophylaxis was surreal because she had me hold up a mirror to my mouth so I could see her lift the gum off of my tooth while she scraped the plaque off the enamel -- all this while I was bleeding profusely. The weirdest part was that none of this hurt, no matter how badly it looked like she was torturing me.
At the end of all this she contorted my mouth into several positions while she took pictures of my teeth. Apparently all her patients had pictures of their mouths for their files so she could show them how much or how little their teeth had improved over time. She ended by giving a strict dental regimen to follow, complete with expensive medication and tongue scrapers. I think it was all worth my money though. At least I know that I don't have an STD. Unless giving too many blowjobs can cause gingivitis.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Itchy Butt
My butthole is so itchy. I don't know whether I should laugh it off cuz I'm probably just oversexed or if I should get nervous because I might have caught something. I managed to lure 2 men from the bi-manila chatroom into having sex with me, but not today. We just set tentative dates for next week. Both of them are cute, and one of them lives near my house. The other one has been rejecting me for a while now, but looks like he finally caved in. Wala na sigurong mahanap na iba. Haha!
I hope Gio calls me again. I swear, that guy's my sexual soulmate. We first started chatting around a month ago. Although we kept on planning when we would meet, we never actually got around to meeting because we either had work or we were seeing other people at the time. Then around a week and a half ago at around 3am, just after I left Mark (whom I will write about sometime soon), Gio texted me and asked if I could meet him. Although I was exhausted from the sex with Mark, I still wanted to meet Gio. From the online pics he showed me of himself he looked cute and looked like he had a really nice body, and I didn't want to say no to him cuz he might not want to meet with me again. So I said yes, I will meet you, but give me an hour to get home and shower first before I go to your place. He agreed, I went home, showered, and made my way to his place. I got lost a bit because I wasn't familiar with his area, but I when I saw him I recognized him because he looked like his pic -- cute. His hair was just a bit longer. We chatted a bit on the way to his place, and it wasn't awkward or anything like that. When we got to his place we managed to get to his bed without any of the dogs barking, which was amazing to me. While we were on his bed I got the condoms and the lube ready. He thought the lube was toothpaste. And then we stripped. Shit. His body was fine. And once we started we just couldn't stop. Pure fucking heaven. The best sex of my life, including the first few times that me and Rolly did it. I dunno if he felt the same way, but it was like our bodies really fit each other, and the sex was just smooth. It was wild too because I was grabbing his hair, pulling his body closer to and harder into me, screaming his name and hyperventilating, and he seemed to like it cuz he just kept pumping harder and harder. After he came he stayed inside me for a few minutes, and I massaged his back while he was lying on top of me. I think he really got tired cuz he slept for like half an hour before I finally left.
For a week after Gio didn't text me, up until last Monday when he called at like 3 in the morning again to ask where I was. He was out with friends. I didn't know if he wanted to meet but I guess he did, or maybe he found someone else to sleep with that night. I'm not hoping for a relationship, but I do hope that we get to sleep with each other again some time soon. I miss him. And I miss his body fucking me more.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Orgasm achieved... pass me a cigarette
After many migraines, I was finally able to edit my blog design. Romi will help me add the counter and the comments box-thing in a few moments. I'm so tired. I want to sleep but I can't because I have to start adjusting to the graveyard shift. Rolly will be here at the office in a few hours.
Devirginizing Blogspot
I am sad. Romi is not going to write in her blog anymore. I'm not sure why, and when I asked earlier today her why she didn't want to write in her blog anymore I didn't understand her answer. Something about her just feeling she shouldn't be writing anymore. That's like me feeling I shouldn't be gay anymore. It's just sad because although I don't get to read her blog that often, whenever I do get to read it I'm amazed at how great a writer she is. Her imagery, her play on words, her honesty, all of it is a reflection of how great a person she is. I suspect the reason she doesn't want to write in her blog anymore has something to do with Sherwin. Hay... Asshole. I'm happy that she's finally seriously considering leaving him permanently. I'm just sad though that she thinks she needs to move to Cebu in order for her to be able to do that. I will miss her, but if she feels it is for the best...
But more of that another time. Let's talk about me first. Haha. I'm starting this blog because I think it's about time I put my thoughts online again. I used to have another online journal, but I haven't managed to update that in a long time. I guess part of the reason why I haven't felt inspired to write there recently is because I can't figure out how to edit the html codes there, so it's a pretty boring journal -- no pictures, boring template, ugly fonts. This blogger thing, I think I can manage better. Plus at least I'm a lot better at managing my time now, so I should be able to write a lot more often than I have done in the past year.
The only thing I'm not sure about is whether or not I'm going to post absolutely everything in this blog, and by absolutely everything I mean all my, ahem, sexcapades and whatnot. Not that I have had that many sexcapades (haha!). In my previous journal I had the option to keep entries private, but I don't think you have the option to do that in this blog. Even if I do have the option, I kinda still want keep all the entries here public. Not that I aim to shock people or anything, but I just want to write what it is that I'm going through, what I'm thinking, and how I feel without having to worry that I'm exposing too much of myself. In any case I end up telling all of my friends what I do anyway. It's just that I wonder what will happen if one of my current or ex- trainees happens to chance upon my blog. Haha. How awkward. Balahura pala si Josie.
