I Heard Love Is Blind

Oh my God I've found the perfect song that describes the way that I'm feeling. My last entry was all about how I've decided that cheating on Vince wouldn't be so bad after all, and today I heard Amy Winehouse's song "I Heard Love Is Blind" for the very first time. It's about this woman who cheats on her man and she justifies it by saying it wasn't really cheating because she was thinking about him while she was fucking the other guy. I can relate because everytime I think about having sex with someone else (like last Saturday with Deo), I end up comparing the guy I'm fantasizing about to Vince. Either that or I end up wishing it was Vince who was fucking me instead. As the song says, I'm sure Vince wouldn't want me to be lonely... but I know he'd be pissed off if he found out it was someone else fucking me and not him.

I couldn't resist him
His eyes were like yours
His hair was exactly the shade of brown
He's just not as tall, but I couldn't tell
It was dark and I was lying down

You are everything – he means nothing to me
I can't even remember his name
Why're you so upset?
Baby, you weren't there and I was thinking of you when I came

What do you expect?
You left me here alone; I drank so much and needed to touch
Don't overreact – I pretended he was you
You wouldn't want me to be lonely

How can I put it so you understand?
I didn't let him hold my hand
But he looked like you; I guess he looked like you
No he wasn't you
But you can still trust me, this ain't infidelity
It's not cheating; you were on my mind

Yes he looked like you
But I heard love is blind...

I'd honestly rather not cheat on him. I still think that cheating in general is wrong. Just maybe not with him.